564 Quotes by Scott Adams

A lot of people ... tend to forget there is someone in the suit.

The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.

It's just three minutes in the microwave, it's hand held, it works with a busy lifestyle,

The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.

Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

It's a bust. Tuna's not cheap and salmon's too high.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.