564 Quotes by Scott Adams

Crazy personalities work, which is why people do it, but most manufacturers discourage it.

Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren't much good to anyone else if you're unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It's best for everyone.

Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.

Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."Dilbert: "But I'm allergic to citrus."Dogbert: "Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, swell up and die.

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.

I've had a great time, ... I don't get to work with this many smart people all at the same time on one cool thing very often.

Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."

When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.