564 Quotes by Scott Adams

If you become a nuisance ... they're not going to like you.

I should have written that down. - Dilbert

The only risk of failure is promotion.

It has no real financial impact on me. And I'm not the angry-getting type. If they prorated my subscription fee, I think they owe me 85 cents or something like that.

What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If it means to do what you think you ought to do, then you’re doing that already. If it means to act like you’re exempt from society’s influence, that’s the worst advice in the world; you would probably stop bathing and wearing clothes. The advice to ‘be yourself’ is obviously nonsense. But our brains accept this tripe as wisdom because it is more comfortable to believe we have a strategy for life than to believe we have no idea how to behave.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

When did ignorance become a point of view?

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.