564 Quotes by Scott Adams

It is a wondrous human characteristic to be able to slip into and out of idiocy many times a day without noticing the change or accidentally killing innocent bystanders in the process.

If you want to understand UFOs, reincarnation and God, do not study UFOs, reincarnation and God. Study people.

We humans don’t like uncertainty, so we are attracted to those who offer clarity and simple answers, even if the answers are wrong or incomplete. Master Persuaders can thrive in chaotic environments by offering the clarity people crave. And if an environment is not chaotic already, a skilled persuader who understands both social media and the news business can easily stir the pot to create an advantage through chaos. Candidate Trump was a champion of this method.

The world isn’t fair, but as long as it’s tilting in my direction, I find that there’s a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it’s the golf gene? Dogbert: It’s plaid and it lies.

These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That’s certainly what I’m hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.

This was my first exposure to the idea that one should have a system instead of a goal. The system was to continually look for better options.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. – Dogbert’s Motto.