564 Quotes by Scott Adams

I’m surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.

This was about the time that my opinion of experts, and authority figures in general, began a steady descent that continues to this day.

Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I’m wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

Everything you want out of life is in that huge, bubbling vat of failure. The trick is to get the good stuff out.

If you believe people use reason for the important decisions in life, you will go through life feeling confused and frustrated that others seem to have bad reasoning skills. The reality is that reason is just one of the drivers of our decisions, and often the smallest one.

You know you’re in a bureaucracy when a hundred people who think ‘A’ get together and compromise on ‘B.

If you think it’s easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you’ve probably never tried.

Recapping my skill set: I have poor art skills, mediocre business skills, good but not great writing talent, and an early knowledge of the Internet. And I have a good but not great sense of humor. I’m like one big mediocre soup. None of my skills are world-class, but when my mediocre skills are combined, they become a powerful market force.

Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity – except in politics where it’s called leadership.