24 Quotes by Simon Rich

Well, that’s splendid!” Mr. Goat said. “As long as we preserve our friendship – that’s the important thing.” “Yes!” Olivia said. “Exactly!” There was a pause. “Can I kiss you?” Mr. Goat said. Olivia groaned. “I just want to be friends,” she said firmly. “That’s all.” “I.

Dreams were invented by Angels to test out their beta programs.

There were a lot of fun things to do in heaven. But none were as thrilling as what you could do on Earth.

I still believe that change is possible. With enough hard work and organization, there’s no reason activists can’t stop genocide, achieve nuclear disarmament, eradicate poverty, or end all human wars. But when it comes to the stuff that really matters, the stuff that really counts? There’s nothing you can do.

The trick to surviving with low funds is to not have such high standards.

You cannot murder interns, but other than that, they are the same as mules. You can rob them, abuse them, debase them. There are no limits. When a man agrees to be intern, he is saying, “I am no longer human being with rights, I am like dog or monkey. Use me for labor until my body breaks and then consume all of my meats.” I.