289 Quotes by Sloane Crosley

I think humor is the social use. You can put anything in it. I think - yes, I speak heavily in analogies - it is like putting the medicine in apple sauce or a block of cheese for a dog. Not that anyone in this room is a dog in this scenario.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.

Working on an essay versus a novel is like the difference between seeing to that curtain and seeing to New Jersey.

Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.