143 Quotes by Stephen Leacock

All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.

The English are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.

You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.

Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.

You can never have international peace as long as you have national poverty.

The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.

Professors of theory merely hold post-mortems.

You cannot depict love inside a frame of fact. It needs a mist to dissolve in.