38 Quotes by Steve Kluger

Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.

Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it's hot?

And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that's only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan

Ale: Are you manipulating me again?T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you.

Mr. Herbert DemarestAlexander Hamilton Jr. High2236 Bedford AvenueBrooklyn NYDear Mr Demarest, Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.Chas. Banks3d Base

Augie: Does everybody else know?T.C.: About my epitaph?Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

It's a lot easier to patch things up with somebody when he doesn't even know you were pissed off at him in the first place.

The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.