846 Quotes by Steven Wright

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'

What a nice night for an evening.

Write from Beyond what you know. From the authority of your senses." -author of Meditations in Green