67 Quotes by Sue Johnson

The emotions do not deserve being put into opposition with “intelligence.” The emotions are themselves a higher order of intelligence. – O. Hobart Mowrer.

Learning to love and be loved is, in effect, about learning to tune in to our emotions so that we know what we need from a partner and expressing those desires openly, in a way that evokes sympathy and support from him or her.

In a group of studies Mikulincer showed that when we feel safely connected to others we understand ourselves better and like ourselves more.

When marriages fail, it is not increasing conflict that is the cause. It is decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness...

The greatest gift a parent has to give a child – and a lover has to give a lover – is emotionally attuned attention and timely responsiveness.

Emotional Responsiveness – The Key to a Lifetime of Love A person’s “heart withers if it does not answer another heart.” – Pearl S. Buck Tim.

We, too, as the Celtic saying goes, “live in the shelter of each other.” World War II historians have noted that the unit of survival in concentration camps was the pair, not the individual. Surveys show that married men and women generally live longer than do their single peers.

Philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah of Princeton University makes the point that, “In life, the challenge is not so much to figure out how best to play the game; the challenge is to figure out what game you are playing.

If I appeal to you for emotional connection and you respond intellectually to a problem, rather than directly to me, on an attachment level I will experience that as “no response.” This is one of the reasons that the research on social support uniformly states that people want “indirect” support, that is, emotional confirmation and caring from their partners, rather than advice.