428 Quotes by T.J. Klune

I thought I was mad, but I also thought I was really turned-on.

You told him, huh? Through your secret wizarding network that you still haven’t told me about.”“It’s called a letter in the mail,” he said.

You okay, Sam?”“Ha-ha, why wouldn’t I be? Everything is peachy! I’m okay. I’m better than okay.”“Okay. I only ask because you haven’t stopped staring at me for the last four hours.”“You lie with all your lies!

I like your shoes,” I said. Because I did. They were pink and pointed, and I wanted a pair like that so bad. My mom and dad groaned. Morgan looked at me and cocked his head.“Thank you, little one. I made them out of the tears of a succubus and a lightning-struck tree stump I found under the Winter Moon. I like your face.”I grinned. “Thank you, big one. My parents made it when they got married. I was a honeymoon baby, whatever that means.

Gary, why Sam sweating?”“Well you see, my dear Tiggy. When a boy loves another boy very much, it makes him awkward and have feelings in his penis and mmmphh!”“Sam, why you use magic and glue Gary’s mouth shut?”“Is that what that was? Gosh! I just thought I was singing to myself!”“MMMMPH!

Gary snorted. When he did, little pink and purple sparkles shot out his nose. Being a unicorn is awesome like that.

Sam never gonna find a boyfriend,” Tiggy said. “No one gonna take his flower.”“Don’t talk about my flower!

I didn’t want to go to my room. I wanted to go see Gary and bitch and moan and braid his mane and have him tell me that Justin was a giant cockfucker and I was so much prettier than him.

Sam said he doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, much less Knight Delicious Face.”“Remind me why you call him that?” Pete asked.“Uh, pretty simple, Pete,” I said. “He’s a knight. And his face is delicious.