428 Quotes by T.J. Klune

Sam’s just dealing with some issues. He recently came to the realization that he’s a twenty-year-old virgin prude.

I couldn’t even begin to guess how old he was. Maybe thirty. Or three hundred. When you’re eleven, anyone older is just old.

Hey, Sam. Want to join me in the river? We can bathe before the sun sets and it gets too cold.”“Sweet molasses.”“What?”“Stay back, foul temptress!”“What?”“Er. Not you. Uh. I… sensed the presence of a succubus. Like, near here. Ooooh. So very near.”“You can do that?”“Yes. Yes I can. Because I have magic. And my succubus-tracking abilities. It’s a thing. A realthing. That I do all the time.”“Riiiight. Your magical succubus-tracking abilities.”“Shut up, Gary!

Gary laughed. “Yeah, but then people meet you and you’re all skinny and adorable, and they’re all like whaaaa?

Honey, you’re pouting. That’s not dangerous. It’s adorable.

I wished for Derek Michen to kiss my face off (that one was when I was nine years old and was absolutely positive he was the love of my life. He did kiss me two weeks later, but then he also kissed Jessica, David, Megan, Rhonda, and Robert. Derek turned out to be a bit of a whore).

You are way too pretty to exist in this world with us mere mortals.” I somehow managed to stop myself from calling him Knight Delicious Face. It was close.

To be fair to Lady Tina DeSilva, it was not a battle she could have won. Because Ryan Foxheart was the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.

'I believe that you will never know victory because you already assume you have it. And that, my son, will be your undoing.' He's still smiling when the gray-eyed man shoots him in the head.