3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

When you have been a possession,then you really understand what freedom meansin all its magnificent terror.

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

It tells him what to say. I know it sounds ridiculous,” muttered Hugh.“How can a book tell a man what to say?

May I ask how you found that out, Madam?”“Oh, one hears things,” Madam said lightly. “One just has to hold money up to one’s ear.

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?