3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?"Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?""Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots.""Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know.

Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.

The worst part, the worst part, was that Lord de Worde was never wrong. It was not a position he understood in relation to his personal geography. People who took an opposing view were insane, or dangerous, or possibly even not really people. You couldn't have an argument with Lord de Worde. Not a proper argument. An argument, from arguer, meant to debate and discuss and persuade by reason. What you could have with William's father was a flaming row.

Well, he thought, so this is diplomacy. It's lying, only for a better class of people.

Arms outstretched in welcome could quickly become arms that grabbed.

The man gave Dodger a cursory glance that had quite a lot of curse in it.

He's got a box with a demon in it that draws pictures," said Rincewind shortly. "Do what the madman says and he will give you gold.

You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.

(...) or there will be a reckoning!