3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

To say nothing of weeds—many of them being plants we used to value but no longer do. They don’t like to die out, you know. (From ‘The Extraordinary Adventures of Doggins’)

A farmer who neglects to sow ordinary seeds only loses the crop, whereas anyone who forgets to sow seeds of a crop that has already been harvested twelve months before risks disturbing the entire fabric of causality, not to mention acute embarrassment.

On the dresser was a row of blue-and-white jars that weren't very useful for anything. They'd been left to her mother by an elderly aunt, and she was proud of them because they looked nice but were completely useless. There was little room on the farm for useless things that looked nice, so they were treasured.

It had a very long pendulum, and the pendulum swung with a slow tick-tock that set his teeth on edge, because it was the kind of deliberate annoying ticking that wanted to make it abundantly clear that every tick and every tock was stripping another second off your life. It was the kind of sound that suggested very pointedly that in some hypothetical hourglass somewhere, another few grains of sand had dropped out form under you.

The headlines screamed at him as soon as he saw the paper. He almost screamed back.

Bandits and governments 'ave so much in common that they might be interchangeable anywhere in the world...

After all, if you can't trust governments, whom can you trust?

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped.