3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

But can’t you just wave your hand and make all the dirt fly away, then?" [...]"That works, but only if you wave them about on the floor with a scrubbing brush.

The current state of knowledge can be summarized thus: in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.

The Departure Aria, a very important and romantic song - This damn door sticks,This damn door sticksIt sticks no matter what I do.It is marked 'pull' and indeed I am pullingPerhaps it should be marked 'push'?

The remainder of the opera passed without anyone dying, except where the score required them to do so at some length.

The chorus was filing on to be A Busy Marketplace, in which various jugglers, gypsies, sword swallowers and gaily dressed yokels would be entirely unsurprised at an apparently drunken baritone strolling on to sing an enormous amount of plot at a passing tenor.

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

Not for the first time she reflected that there were many drawbacks to being a swordswoman, not least of which was that men didn't take you seriously until you'd actually killed them, by which time it didn't really matter anyway.

He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered."You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.