3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Apparently,” Vetinari remarked to Drumknott, “the pounding of the railway wagons will lead to immorality.

Vergiss nie", hatte sie immer wieder und allzu oft betont, "dass nur einhundertachtunddreißig Personen sterben müssen, damit dein Vater König wird! Und das bedeutet, dass du eines Tages vielleicht eine Königin bist!

Sie war sich ziemlich sicher, dass es auch einen weiblichen Apostel gegeben haben muss, und verblüffte Captain Roberts mit ihrer Erklärung: "Unser Herr wird immer in weißen Gewändern dargestellt, also muß irgendwer dafür gesorgt haben, dass er jeden Tag ein sauberes anziehen konnte!

When the humours were handed out, Ankh-Morpork got the one for joking and Quirm had to do make do with their expertise in fine dining and love-making.

I'm ... not sure yet. But I've seen Dorfl around. He's always seemed a very gentle person.""It works in a slaughterhouse!""Maybe that's not a bad place for a gentle person to work, sir" said Carrot.

Its the same everywhere. If you want big grief, look to the ladies.

The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.

The real world was far too real to leave neat little hints. It was full of too many things. It wasn’t by eliminating the impossible that you got at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities.

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.