3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Trolls have 5,400 words for rocks and one for vegetation. "Oograah" means everything from moss to giant redwoods. The way trolls see it, if you can't eat it, it's not worth naming it.

The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.

Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it's all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place.

It's not my cow. It's a sheep with a pitchfork. Unfortunately, it goes quack.

One of the nice things about Time, Crowley always said, was that it was steadily taking him further away from the fourteenth century, the most bloody boring hundred years on God's, excuse his French, Earth.

I have to find the edge of the envelope and put my stamp on it.

There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.

Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.

I mean, it's a good job we've got a last desperate million-to-one chance to rely on, or we'd really be in trouble!