3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Rob turned the rustling pages and grinned.'Ach, she's writ here: "Oh, the dear Feegles ha' turned up again,"' he said. This met with general applause.'Ach, what a kind girl she is tae write that,' said Billy Bigchin. 'Can I see?'He read: "Oh dear, the Feegles have turned up again."'Ah,' he said.

If Vorbis was right, and there was a kind of light that made darkness visible, then down there was its opposite, the darkness where no light could ever reach: darkness that blackened light, He thought of blind Didactylos and his empty lantern.

There was a crash from the direction of the kitchen, although it really was more of a crashendo - the long drawn out clatter that begins when a pile of plates begins to slip, continues when someone tries to grab at them, develops a desperate counter-theme when the person realises they don't have three hands, and ends with the roinroinroin of the one miraculously intact plate spinning round and round on the floor.

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent protection.

The footprints go this way," said Cuddy, "and then they return. But the ones coming back aren't so deep as the ones going. You can see they're later ones because they're over the top of the other ones. So he was heavier than he was coming back, yes?""Right," said Detritus. "So that means...?""He lose weight?

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.

I wouldn't say I'm the best," she said, "but I can't think of anyone better, I have to say.

Bugger off sweetheart Nanny's busy

They ask me things like: what is the right way to address a duke? An’ once again I have to point out that it is a matter of fine details, such as, if there’s a gate needs holdin’ open and it looks like half a dollar might be forthcoming, it’s ‘G’day, your graciousness,’ whereas if you’ve just set fire to his ancestral piles and the mob is breakin’ the windows it is more suitable to address him as ‘you bloated lying blutocat!’ It is all a matter of finesse