3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategythat eluded him at the moment.

...Agnes Nutter's death, which which more or less marked the end of the serious witch-hunting craze in England. A howling mob, reduced to utter fury by her habit of going around being intelligent and curing people, arrived at her house one April evening to find her sitting with her coat on waiting for them.

In Ankh-Morpork even the shit have a street to itself," said Detritus, awe and wonder in his voice. "Truly, this a land of opportunity.

The best man. You know? He hands you the ring and has to marry the bride if you ran away and so on. The Dean's been reading up on it, haven't you, Dean?""Oh, yes," said the Dean, who'd spent all the previous day with "Lady Deirdre Waggon's Book of Etiquette". "She's got to marry someone once she's turned up. You can't have unmarried brides flapping around the place, being a danger to society.""I completely forgot about a best man!" said Vimes.

She was almost there. She could feel the weight of herself, the ponderousness of her body, the distant memories of the dawn of time when rock was molten and free. For the first time in her life she knew what it was like to have balconies.

I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.-Lord Vetinari

I'm not a criminal madman,' said Vimes. (...)'Never mind, you'll soon fit in,' said Lawn.

Истинските котки действително ядат плодови сладкиши. И пилешки дреболийки. И масло. И всичко друго, останало на масата, ако решат, че после може да им се размине за това. Истинските котки чуват как се отваря вратата на хладилника през две стаи в трета.

Знаете ли къде прекарва времето си вашата котка, когато не е вкъщи? Струва си да проверите дали по-далечните ви съседи нямат котка със същите размери и оцветяване. Случва се. Познавахме навремето две семейства, които години наред, и двете, се мислеха за собственици на една и съща котка, а тя си прекарваше времето си в сноване между две купички с храна.