3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

In the end the problem isn't that you have the wrong sort of government for the People, but that you have the wrong sort of People.

That's one form of magic, of course." "What, just knowing things?" "Knowing things that other people don't know.

That's the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother's funeral, but you don't switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill. Who was it said - one of the famous lady novelists - 'unhappy is the family that contains an author'?

We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

The brain works fast when it thinks it’s about to be cut in half.

Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.

It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's American editors.

Do you know how wizards like to be buried?" "Yes!" "Well, how?" Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Reluctantly.