3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.

People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school.

Ponder just let it happen. It's because their minds are so often involved with deep and problematic matters, he told himself, that their mouths are allowed to wander around making a nuisance of themselves.

If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.

What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?

Everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. (in Thief of Time)

Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.

Ritual and ceremony in their due times kept the world under the sky and the stars in their courses. It was astonishing what ritual and ceremony could do.

People were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant.