3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

My programming language was solder.

Now the melting pot was full of lumps again.

The Four Horsemen whose Ride presages the end of the world are known to be Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence. But even less significant events have their own Horsemen. For example, the Four Horsemen of the Common Cold are Sniffles, Chesty, Nostril, and Lack of Tissues; the Four Horsemen whose appearance foreshadows any public holiday are Storm, Gales, Sleet, and Contra-flow.

You have so many sources to draw on when you're a fantasy writer.

Of course, like all the informal inhabitants of the University the roaches were a little unusual, but there was something particularly unpleasant about the sound of billions of very small feet hitting the stones in perfect time. Rincewind stepped gingerly over the marching column. The Librarian jumped it. The Luggage, of course, followed them with a noise like someone tapdancing over a bag of crisps.

Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already.

They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?

As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.

Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath ...