3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off.

SCIENCE: a way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us the whole time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it's wrong.

Just because you've got a mind like a hammer doesn't mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail

The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.

One minute I'm just another rabbit and happy about it, next minute *whazaam*, I'm thinking. That's a major drawback if you're looking for happiness as a rabbit, let me tell you. You want grass and sex, not thoughts like 'What's it all about, when you get right down to it?'

Someone got killed up here.... It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer’n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter." "How’d you know all that?" "I just trod on ‘im.

Let's see, now... in HOGFATHER there are a number of stabbings, someone's killed by a man made of knives, someone's killed by the dark, and someone just been killed by a wardrobe. It's a book about the magic of childhood. You can tell.

Ach, people are always telling us not to do things" said Rob Anybody, "that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.