3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol. "That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.

The mountains of madness have many little plateau of sanity.

I taught myself more in the library than school taught me.

I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them.

The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.

A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him? I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true.

Money doesn't buy happiness, Gytha." "I only wanted to rent it for a few weeks!

- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.