3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!

When you stand between two mirrors you're spread out among the images, your whole soul is pulled out thin, and somewhere in the distant images a dark part of you might get out and come looking for you, if you aren't careful.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

Their families cordially detested one another.

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

I try to make computers say things like You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance.

He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania

You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers