3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.

When she spoke again it was in the thin, careful and above all brave voice of someone who has pulled themselves together despite overwhelming odds but might let go again at any moment.

Tell someone you are going to rob them and all that will happen is that you'll get a reputation as a truthful man.

Some People think 'coven' is a word for a group of witches, and it's true that's what the dictionary says. But the real word for a group of witches is 'an argument'.

Everybody thinks the Government should be doing more about everything but just think how many of the bonuses which are quite rightly being dragged off certain people, just think to what good causes they could be put - wouldn't that be a lovely thought'?

I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf, And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way, Yo!

There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.

Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.