3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'

Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too.

But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor.

You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.

Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.

I know three people who have got better after a brain tumour. I haven't heard of anyone who's got better from Alzheimer's.

Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.The Stealer of Souls, he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.

Belief was never mentioned at home, but right actions were taught by daily example.