3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I tell you, commander, it’s true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they’re doing it for the best, especially if there is some god involved.

It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as “slightly foxed”, although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well. – Ah, but has it been hedgehogged?

It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.

They didn’t know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you’ve got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you’re alive, when you really shouldn’t be.

All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel – or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: ‘Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?’

And Sam Vimes thought: Why is Young Sam’s nursery full of farmyard animals anyway? Why are his books full of moo-cows and baa-lambs? He is growing up in the city. He will only see them on a plate! They go sizzle!

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn’t believing. It’s where belief stops, because it isn’t needed any more.

Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead.