3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Hello, inner child, I’m the inner babysitter!

He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania.

Given enough coffee I could rule the world.

Just because you’ve got a mind like a hammer doesn’t mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail.

And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man’s got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That’s oppression, that is. If I’m not under the heel of the oppressor, I don’t know who is.

Most modern fantasy just rearranges the furniture in Tolkien’s attic.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn’t as cynical as real life.

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it’s as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.

It’s a god-eat-god world.