3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Demons were like genies or philosophy professors if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.

It's better to ask Santa Claus for a pair of slippers for Christmas rather than peace on earth. You might actually get it.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Have you ever bitten a red hot ice cube? That's curry.

The Librarian liked being best man. You were allowed to kiss bridesmaids, and they weren't allowed to run away.

There was a certain something about the air in the city. You got the feeling that it was air that had seen life. You couldn’t help noting with every breath that thousands of other people were very close to you and nearly all of them had armpits.

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest.

Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.

No, what he didn’t like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.