3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

After all it was only wood. It'd rot in a few hundred years. By the measure of infinity, it hardly existed at all. On average, considered over the lifetime of the multiverse, most things didn't.

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

In life, as in breakfast cereal, it is always best to read the instructions on the box.

As every student of exploration knows, the prize goes not to the explorer who first sets foot upon the virgin soil but to the one who gets that foot home first. If it is still attached to his leg this is a bonus.

Time is a drug; too much of it kills you.

Even the blind and meek and voiceless have gods.

But what's worth more than gold? Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?

Escapism isn't good or bad in itself. What is important is what you are escaping from and where you are escaping to.Â

The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant