3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Measurements is your saving grace if you want to raise steam.

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

Insanity is catching.

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape – the great face pressed even closer, so that Wonse was staring into the pitiless depths of his eyes – we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.

The grags came down heavily on those who did not conform and seemed not to realize that this was like stamping potatoes into the mud to stop them growing.

This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.

Have a chocolate-covered raisin,” he said.“They look like rat droppings,” said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom.“So that’s it,” he said. “The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot.

A good motto in life, he'd reckoned, was: don't eat anything that glows.