3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting 'All Gods are bastards.

Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.

It's fifteen hundred miles to Ankh-Morpork,‘ he said. "We've got three hundred and sixty-three elephants, fifty carts of forage, the monsoon's about to break and we're wearing... we're wearing... sort of things, like glass, only dark... dark glass things on our eyes...

Yes, she'd made a mistake... but she wasn't going to be bullied. You couldn't let boys go around raining on your lava and ogling other people's watercolors.

There are some laws that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

When you break rules, break 'em good and hard

Sometimes I think a man could wander across the disc all his life and not see everything there is to see,' said Twoflower. 'And now it seems there are lots of other worlds as well. When I think I might die without seeing a hundredth of all there is to see it makes me feel,' he paused, then added, 'well, humble, I suppose. And very angry, of course.