3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about.

Amazin'.' he said again. 'He just looks as though he's thinking, right?''Er...yes.''But he's not actually thinking?''Er...no.''So...he just gives the impression of thinking but really it's just a show?''Er...yes.'Just like everyone else, then really,' said Ridcully

He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.

Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.

The boldest of the three moved suddenly, grabbed Angua and pulled her upright. "We walk out of here unharmed or the girl gets it, all right?" he snarled.Someone sniggered."I hope you're not going to kill anyone," said Carrot."That's up to us!""Sorry, was I talking to you?" said Carrot.

I wonder what's the difference between ordinary councillors and privy councillors?" wondered the merchant aloud.The assassin scowled at him. "I think," he said, "it is because you're expected to eat shit.

This is nothing personal, you understand," said Charley to Nobby. "It's just a wossname. Had a wizard in here the other night talking about it. Sort of bendy educational thing, you know?" He appeared to think for a moment. "Learning curve. That was it. It's a learning curve. Detritus, get your big stony arse over here for a moment.

I'm sure the Bursar would not agree with those figures," said the Senior Wrangler sourly."That is so,' said Ponder, "but I'm afraid that is because he regards the decimal point as a nuisance.

Letters rarely got written in that mine. Work stopped and the whole clan had sat around in respectful silence as his pen scrittered across the parchment. His aunt had been sent up to Varneshi's to beg his pardon but could he see his way clear to sparing a smidgen of wax. His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.