450 Quotes by Thomm Quackenbush

She could never understand why creatures of darkness had the slightest interest in spineless human girls.

Sunlight dusts them; Water is damp; Crosses pain them; And beheadings cause cramps—

How I could ever establish a relationship with her father, though? His world was logical and mine was a morass of adolescent feelings. On television, we would grab a beer, replace a fan belt, and I would earn his begrudging respect. He might tell me to treat his daughter right while hitting the head of the wrench against his palm. In this world, I stood a better chance of connecting with the fan belt.

The art of chess is in knowing which is the most valuable piece in play, then having the courage to sacrifice it for the win.

If he had to spend the evening with madwomen, he would prefer at least one of them be willing to let him grope her.

If you do not need something that it is still useful, give it to someone who will appreciate it before you douse it in lighter fluid in hopes Santa Odin will put a new one under your Yule tree.

If you think it is spiritual to burn food in front of starving people in hopes that your gods will bring this back to you in triplicate, you are missing the point and sowing animosity from all sides.

Time owed an alliance to the undying.

Sex is usually cleaner than a blood sacrifice.