46 Quotes by Tiffany Haddish

I think of comedy as my man: it's the one thing I can always rely on that will keep me safe, keep me fed, put a roof over my head.

When my people are dying, that's when you gonna catch me protesting. I'm not gonna protest because somebody got offered not the amount of money they wanted to get offered. If you don't like what they're offering you, just no longer do business with them.

I do have esteem issues when it comes to reading and writing. I always feel kind of self-conscious about letting people read something that I wrote, because the last thing I wanna hear is, 'You spelled everything wrong.'

Being on stage is, like, my favorite. The immediate gratification. That's my favorite.

I wanna meet Meryl Streep, so she can be my mama. I want Meryl Streep to be my mom in a movie.

I surf. I would love to do a remake of 'Gidget.' It could be, like, black 'Gidget.'

I'm not really into politics, but if I had my own country, I would make sure all my people were educated and figuring out what they love to do, and focusing on that.

There've been times I felt like, 'I don't know if I want to do this.' That maybe I should go back to school and become a special-education teacher. But I love entertaining.

When I was young, people used to be like, 'You look just like Halle Berry - out of Losing Isaiah.' I don't care; she was still beautiful in that movie!