64 Quotes by Tim Conway

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

I was dyslexic - was, still am - 'cause I would see words that weren't there. And people just started laughing, and I thought, well, this is a good way to make a living. I'll just go downtown to read and have people laugh, you know?

I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.