64 Quotes by Tim Conway

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he’s charging me for finding it.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it.

People enjoy sitting back knowing they won’t hear a lot of four-letter words.

I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life.

When I watch TV, I’m embarrassed by some of what’s on.

I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.

You can’t TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you’ve just got to watch Don as Barney. That’s why I put Don in several of my movies.