183 Quotes by Tom Lehrer

And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.

I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs. I think, for example, that pi is mysterious enough (don't get me started!) without having to worry about God. Or if pi isn't enough, how about fractals? or quantum mechanics?

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then

Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.

Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?

You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.