183 Quotes by Tom Lehrer

If the hoods don’t get you, the monoxide will.

I’ve heard it quoted that I was dead. You can’t believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it’s been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.

Always predict the worst, and you’ll be hailed as a prophet.

Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can’t stand, You can tolerate him if you try!

Don’t drink the water and don’t breathe the air!

And although I’m all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I’m not willing to go to jail for.

So long, Mom I’m off to drop the bomb So don’t wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV.

I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that’s not exactly a full-time job. It wasn’t that I was writing and writing and writing and quit.

Be it ever so decadent, there’s no place like home.