911 Quotes by Tom Robbins

Nonetheless, the oyster, could it fancy, should fancy its excremental equipment a hot item, for what other among Creation’s crapping creatures can convert its bodily wastes into treasure?

People tend the take everything too seriously. Especially themselves. Yep. And that’s probably what makes ’em scared and hurt so much of the time. Life is too serious to take that seriously.

People aren’t trees, so it is false when they speak of roots.

The sky was the color of Edgar Allan Poe’s pajamas.

You knows dat in New Orleans is not morning ’til dee sun come up.

The inability to correctly perceive reality is often responsible for humans’ insane behavior. And every time they substitute an all-purpose, sloppy slang word for words that would accurately describe an emotion or a situation, it lowers their reality orientations, pushes them farther from shore, out onto the foggy waters of alienation and confusion.

Anyone who maintains absolute standards of good and evil is dangerous. As dangerous as a maniac with a loaded revolver. In fact, the person who maintains absolute standards of good and evil usually is the maniac with the revolver.

Those who possess wisdom cannot just ladle it out to every wantwit and jackanapes who comes along and asks for it. A person must be prepared to receive wisdom, or else it will do him more harm than good.

You may tell the greatest lies and wear a brilliant disguise, but you can’t escape the eyes of the one who sees right through you.