911 Quotes by Tom Robbins

An old Ukrainian proverb warns, “A tale that begins with a beet will end with the devil.” That is a risk we have to take.

Solace? That’s why God made fermented beverages and the blues.

Well, history isn’t ever going to end, happily or unhappily. And history is ending every second – happily for some of us, unhappily for others, happily one second, unhappily the next. History is always ending and always not ending, and both ways there is nothing to wait for.

In a patriarchal society, the abiding sexuality of the healthy female was obliged to wear a prim disguise.

Twenty candles on a cake. Twenty Camels in a package. Twenty centuries under our belts and where do we go from here?

To eliminate the agitation and disappointment of desire, we need but awaken to the fact that we have everything we want and need right now.

Purpose! Purposes are for animals with a hell of a lot more dignity than the human race! Just hop on that strange torpedo and ride it to wherever it’s going.

The gods have chosen to entertain me with chronic eyestrain headaches. Very poisonous episodes. So I don’t do a lot of reading anymore except on tape.

Oh, no, darlin’, none o’ that. Sure and they destroyed some cells, no doubt about it, but ‘twas for the good. If you want your tree to produce plenty o’ fruit, you’ve got to cut it back from time to time. Same thing with your neural cells. Some people might call it brain damage. I call it prunin’.