39 Quotes by Tom Segura

I wasn't the crazy kid bouncing off the walls, I would just sit back a make comments and I made people laugh.

The thing for me is that my natural state is to be reserved and not share.

Ninety percent of my material is made on stage, but I feel like you're missing something by abandoning sitting down to write entirely.

I'm a sarcastic, observational storyteller.

I don't switch my act up to win over the crowd. I'm more like, 'You came here... this is what I do.' I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.

I've always worked toward, and felt comfortable with, you know, pausing and guiding the audience on a longer bit.

I don't like big events and crowded areas. I'm almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I've been like that forever.

I'm not the nicest guy on stage.

I'll never be a TV writer.