250 Quotes by Tucker Carlson

Canada thinks we're married; we don't know it exists. Every time we tell Canada to knock it off, it just feeds the fire.

Rich people making their houses bigger in order to make their lives happier wind up hurting their own marriages. There's a deep irony here. Do the couples perceive that irony?

Angelina Jolie seems like she cries a lot, which puts me off.

I'm a small government conservative.

To call me a partisan hack is ludicrous. I am the least partisan person I know.

I'm not for cutting off hands but I'm more for cutting off hands than I am for molesting children, if that's what it takes to stop it. I think that's fair.

But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?

Who laughs less than feminists?

The best thing about television news is, it's immediate. Everything at a news network happens quickly.