37 Quotes by Ursula Vernon

For a princess, you are a singularly bloody-minded little thug

She was a good witch and a decent person, but decent people aren’t always easy to live with.

Grandma Harken was sharpening her garden shears. Her hands slowed on the file and she said finally, “He’ll get in trouble and he’ll figure it out. Best to do it without us standing over him. It’s the only way anybody ever learns to clean up after themselves.

She didn’t look any older, so far as she could tell from the mirror, but her heart felt like somebody had been scraping the last bits out with a spoon.

There is something about a bathroom that feels like a fortress. A closed bathroom door may only be about two inches of plywood, but it feels like an iron bar.

Maps? There are no maps.I go by dark ways, unclean ways. If such a map existed, it would be beyond price. Nameless cults would battle in the low places of the earth for such a price. Dreamers would starve themselves in endless visions seeking its location.Such a map would have to be drawn on the skin of a black he-goat, in virgin's blood, with a brush made of dragon's eyelashes. The cartographer would go mad, and it would profane the hands that touched it.

I suppose we should contact the local authorities?” said Wilbur.“I’m a princess,” said Harriet. “We’re in the hamster kingdom. I kinda am the authorities.”“Yeah, but you’re more a hitting-things-with-a-sword princess than a rehabilitating-villains princess.”“Being hit with a sword can be very rehabilitating, under the right circumstances.

Is your mom afraid something will happen to you?" "I," said Harriet, with absolute confidence, "am something that happens to other people.

So we have this eyesore on the property.No, it’s not the beagle. I can understand why you’d think that, though.