65 Quotes by Vermin Supreme

I'm a tyrant that you should trust, and you should let me run your life, because I do know what is best for you.

Once every American has a pony then I can - by fiat, executive order or something like that - dismantle the federal government with a snap of my magic fingers.

We can afford all these wars; this, that, the other thing, why can't every American have a pony? If you break it down, if you do the math, the government could afford to give you a pony. Don't let them tell you they couldn't, they could.

I stand for mandatory toothbrushing laws.

Money should be for ponies, not for war, I think.

Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.

Jesus had told me to make Randall Terry gay.

I think the important thing to understand about the free pony program is, of course, it is an absolutely free pony program, uh, there may be some incidental costs involved with pony social security or universal pony health care or the haystamp program so ponies won't starve in the streets.

For too long, this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay in spirit and incisors.