39 Quotes by W.C. Fields

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Why limit happy to an hour.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake— which I also keep handy.

After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.