47 Quotes by Walter Matthau

You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.

To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I am the guy next door. I could play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As a matter of fact, when I did The Odd Couple, I would do it a different way each night. On Monday I'd be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-German-and I would mix them up. I did that to amuse myself, and it always worked.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.